Tuesday, May 03, 2011

A Dream Of Rest

I'm kind of tired of being cold.  The in between we've been living through has taxed my last nerve.  My frigid fingers are making me crabby and summertime activities in forty-degree weather wears me down.

I'm kind of tired of trying to be seen.  It all seems so needy.  And I'm tired of trying to think of different angles.  My brain has malfunctioned.

I'm kind of tired of knowing how much I have to do and watching obligations pop up in my path.  I'm not really startled by them, but I want to just stand really still and hope they don't see me.  But I always see them and know they must be honored.

I'm kind of tired of listening to people who don't really know what they're talking about ~ to people who attempt things on a professional level when their competency ranks amateur.  I want to enlighten them with things I know from my own experience, but I'm kind of tired of convincing anyone I know some things.

I'm kind of tired of feeling whiney and wimpy.  Too tired to empower myself and disgusted with with my lack of motivation. 

With this very sad and tired piece of writing I hope to grant myself what I really need.  Some rest.  A break from the demands I've placed on myself.  A little time to become less tired.  A little time to become more tolerant.  A little time to become less selfish and more selfish all at once.

I'm just kind of tired.


MaryAnn said...

Tired - one of the definitions is hackneyed, which is lacking in freshness or originality. These are terms I would never use to describe you! So I don't think it's so much that you're tired, as you are weary - "having one's patience, tolerance, or pleasure exhausted." :)

Jane Carlstrom said...

Oh WOW! How well you express yourself. OH how I wonder how many of us relate so heart beating together closely to your words. I DO, I DO, I DO for sure feel it. Thank GOD I no longer feel so alone.

Auntie B you are the queen of the HIve. Thank you for putting into words the way it feels in my heart and mind, now it is out and it feels better.

Thank YOU MaryAnn for the encouragement of looking at the words. YES weary, weary, now to ponder and figure out how to move out of wearyness. It is different than moving out of tiredness. That elucidation will help.


Sara said...

Oh you guys...

I think some forced rest is in order. Timed to get refreshed and a little more balanced. Let's all take a deep breath and r e l a x.

MaryAnn said...

Rest alone will probably not help the "unbalanced" among us. However, resting on a couch in a therapist's office might!

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