Colleen Kruse, This Is For You

Dear Colleen,

How are you? I am fine.

I sent you an e-mail about a week ago, commenting on a conversation you were having on your talk radio show. You were discussing the '80s and big hair. The conversation turned to things a little more shady. You didn't come out and say you actually smoked cigarettes and marijuana, but it was totally implied. I'm not judging you in any way, just jogging your memory of the conversation of which I speak.

I was in the car when you, not saying you actually smoked anything, told all of your listeners that you love the smell of marijuana. You also said, and I quote, "I wish they made a candle that smelled like that." I wished at that moment I had the phone number to the radio station, because I would have called you in seconds flat.

Instead I raced back to my computer and wrote an e-mail to you. You actually like the smell of marijuana? I asked. Do you really want a candle that smells like that? So your house can smell like some kind of beatnik coffee house? Again, I wasn't judging, just trying to be clear. After all, if I were judging would I have offered to make for you a candle that had the fragrance of marijuana?!

Your failure to respond to my e-mail made me wonder if you had gotten many other calls or e-mails prior to mine claiming to be able to provide you with such a product. I've only myself to blame as I should have your phone number on my speed dial.

I just want to be sure you know that while Auntie B's Wax in no way condones the smoking of illegal substances, we can so totally create a candle that smells like you have been.

Groovy, huh?

Long time listener first time writer,

Auntie B